Train to Somewhere by Susan Laine

Author:Susan Laine [Laine, Susan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: gay romance
ISBN: 978-1-63533-993-2
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Published: 2017-10-18T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 8

“SCIENTISTS, FOR now at least, seem to be of the consensus that sexual orientation is an innate quality and not a choice.”

Will sounded smart and knowledgeable. Charlie listened intently. This was important, and he didn’t want to miss a word. He didn’t want to interrupt until he had enough information to form his own conclusions. So far the number of possibilities boggled his mind.

“There is, however, debate as to whether orientation is stable throughout an individual’s life or if it’s more flexible and malleable, able to change and redevelop over time and space. If you know what I mean. Not, like, in space-age terms.”

Will’s bashful smile made Charlie chuckle. Again, he thought about how Will had a talent for easing any kind of tension and dissolving any sort of uncertainty. Charlie wished Will no ill will, but he admitted to a kind of jealousy of his natural comfort. Charlie knew of no other person who could speak like a consummate scientific specialist one minute and a sweet, playful teen the next.

“A train can switch tracks to get to a different destination,” Charlie theorized. “And I could do the same, sexually speaking. Now… would that make it a choice or an inherent trait?”

Will opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He snapped his mouth closed, frowning. He seemed incapable of speaking. Finally he supplied, “Personally I don’t believe that sexuality or gender identity are choices, and neither does the scientific community. Only jerks like right-wing homophobes think along those lines, and they use the choice argument to justify horrible, inhumane things like gay conversion therapy and other bigoted bullshit.” After a brief pause, he slumped in defeat. “But I don’t know for sure when it comes to you specifically. Only you can answer that.”

Charlie scratched his head. “Saying that sexuality is fluid, able to adapt to any situation or partner, is kind of an easy way of explaining a more complex state of being.”

“You mean like a cop-out?” Will’s expression spoke volumes, rejecting Charlie’s implication.

Charlie shook his head. “No. Just easy. It doesn’t really require further investigation or any detailed accounts. One can say ‘I’m fluid’ and be done—but inside they might not have a clue as to who they are, who they wanna be with, or what kind of sex and relationship they wanna have.”

In a fit of irritation, he tapped his iPhone to turn off the playlist. Silence fell over them like a bomb. He preferred it after the noise. His whole head was filled with static anyway.

“I feel like I’m stuck on a train without a schedule or destination in London Below, just moving without a point or meaning.”

Will leaned closer over the table and took his hand. “You’ll figure it out, with or without Gaiman. No one says you have to find yourself this second. Take time, and one day when you least expect it, it’ll come to you. A revelation.”

A knock on the door broke Charlie’s concentration.

He got up and opened it. A male waiter in a white dress shirt and black vest stood there with an expectant expression.

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